Alzheimer Dad

I was only getting squigglies when I typed, but then a co-worker suggested going thru netscape, to give me more leverage. lo and behold, i'm typing away. the good thing about working at a day job is that i get to share memes with people..learn new techniques...get new ideas..I've learned really practical ideas from co-workers like this one: concepts like conservative, liberal republican democrat are really unimportant. what is universal is that people need to have decent, clean housing and adequate food. we have enought food on the planet to feed everyone, and the technology to build clean water and sewage disposal systems. the dopey thing is BAD MANAGEMENT!! my cousin is in afghanistan, creating clean water systems for villages...he's a cool guy, trying to make the world a better place, one village at a time....it's been almost a year since Dad died, and i'm finally kind of easing out of nightmares every night. i didn't go on a drinking, gambling drug taking promiscuity binge, tho i did have an aneurysm in my head. cranial surgery is beautifully grotesque. my eye is slightly askew..me who was a model at 16, a cover girl rock star at 30 and a recording artist still in my 40s..now i get to see how it feels to be quasimodo. i still have my priviledged pretty girl attitude, it's almost unconscious..but i see how it doesnt' jibe with my externals anymore. there's a sort of privilege being good looking, when you're very young, you sort of have to bury it, sometimes..I wore dark glasses and scarves in winter, i see girls hiding under their baseball caps..noone wants to be yelled at or followed, and these are side effects of being pretty...a pretty girl is like a rock star..everyone wants a piece of the action...getting older makes one less likely to be followed or harrassed, though i would get the odd young guy who would sit too close on the train...or try to pass me notes..one guy sat opposite me on the train and scribble requests to be beaten and tied up..uuchh...anyway, now that i am in the league of the infirm, i notice people looking at me, then looking away..i may have to just wear glasses like stevie wonder...it's a culture shock...